Time Travel

The closest I've ever come a spiritual surrender gas been during times when I had been upset. Not just upset as in mood,but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually at the same time. I was restless and hurting. I didn't want to do anything due to all of my focus going towards getting whatever was on my mind off of my mind. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Any decision I made on my own without letting the situation figure itself out was going to be a bad choice. I was giving into the worrying of what wS going to happen next. I was already in pain from the situation, but I wouldn't let it go. I felt my spirit tugging at me. It was the one giving me the right answer, but I didn't feel like listening because I couldn't physically see the solution to the problem. It didn't take long for me to surrender, though. I was running myself crazy, then all of a sudden, I chose to just let go. Three days later, the problem figured itself out and I was at peace, especially due the reality of surrendering myself to my spirit.

When I imagine myself at 80, I see a quiet woman. Somebody rested, weird, and choosing to be happy. I envision a woman whose been through the hard knocks, but paid attention to the solutions and the positive energies in life. She has a lot to say, but won't say it unless asked or extremely needed. I would picture my older self telling my younger self  "Oh, sweetie, relax! You're going to be ok. Enjoy and love your family and be good to yourself. Don't be afraid of life. It's gonna be on hell of a ride, but you'll have your hands up in the air feeling the wind! Stick to your goals and don't be afraid to work hard. Love yourself the best you can, please! You'll save yourself a lot of trouble. And always smile. Please, don't be afraid to be yourself and don't apologize for it either. I love you." I just picture her being a sweet, crazy, old lady. Yup!

I would tell 8 year old me "Don't worry about other people. There's nothing wrong with you. You are smart, just work hard. You're a pretty girl. Enjoy playing with your toys and stay away from mean kids. You have no reason to please them. Keep drawing. Always. Don't stop drawing! Pay attention in class, and daydream at the end." I had a lot of issues when I was a kid. I went through life not liking myself, and I would just go and tell myself to like myself. I was a weird person and a lot of kids didn't like me for that. If I could tell my young self something, it would be don't try so hard. Enjoy yourself and those kids that are nice to you. It kinda sad when I look back and see that I didn't like myself that much. I'm gonna make up for it, for my younger self and older self.