Fear

I use fear to help me get through the performance. No matter what it is I'm doing, even if it's a show, film, rehearsal, or an audition, I'm going to feel some level of nervousness. I don't think it'll completely go away, so I find a way to use it as energy when I perform. In many ways it actually helps! I'm more sharp with my movement, my expressions are exaggerated, and I move swiftly. There are times when it can work in the opposite manner, like for instance, forgetting the choreography. I remember I was attending a dance convention and the choreography was really fast and percise. I was chosen to dance with a group of people and it was out turn to demenstrate the movement. Of course, I felt the nerves, but I kept dancing. At one point I forgot half of an eight count, but I continued moving. Although my nerves got in the way, to which, I forgot the movement, I didn't stop moving. I kept on 'performing'. That's what you do when you forget something. Keep moving as if it's the actual choreography and when you can jump back in, jump.

The only other way I feel fear is actually crippling to me, is when the nerves keep me very uptight and it's noticeable. Then, it's just embarrassing. I recall back when I was asked to be a stand in for one of the actresses. We were the learning the choreography when one of the actors noticed my demeanor and said "Elise, you look so nervous! It's okay." I laughed and giggled with everyone else, but I was kind of embarrassed that she pointed it out in front of everybody. It was then that I FEARED I wasn't being professional and I might have ruined or damaged my reputation in some way. I kept over thinking the situation, and to this day I still wonder if I did sabatoge myself. I hope not.
In more ways than not, fear has helped me, so I can't really say that I don't need it. I just wish I was better at not showing it.